The Secret to Finding and Connecting With Your Tribe


Okay, hopefully this goes better this time. So good morning. We had a little technical difficulty. We’re back. Hopefully, everyone can see me. So if you guys hop on, let me know if it works, or we’ll figure it out. But, okay, so we are talking today about building your tribe. Building your tribe is probably the number one issue I see with spiritual entrepreneurs when they come to me.

You guys have spent really amazing time working on your gifts, getting out there, really taking the time to grow as a spiritual coach, right? And then you’re out there, and you’re sharing all of this amazing information. But you’re sharing the information, and it’s like it’s falling on deaf ears. No one is actually hearing you, which I feel is like what is happening on this video. I’m not sure if it’s working, but I hope you guys will see this later, so… I’m going to blame the rain in Los Angeles. Nothing is working, but I think we’re okay.

So, yeah, so building your tribe. Number one thing. What happens, what I see as the big problem, is that you’re out there. You know what you want to teach, but you can’t find the people that you’re trying to connect with. So you’re out there. You’re trying to teach. You’re giving all this information, and it’s falling on deaf ears.

You’re writing blog posts. No one is reading your blog posts. You’ve got posts on social media, in your Facebook, on your Twitter, wherever you might be. You’re posting, and it’s like nobody’s hearing you. And this is probably the number one problem. Even when clients come to me and they have a bit of a following, what’s happening is there’s a disconnect with their tribe and what they’re trying to do.

And what happens is we know what we want to teach. We know how we can change lives, and so sometimes we’re telling them about what we can do. Telling them what we can do isn’t really helping the client. They’re not connecting with you. So to be able to have a connection, we need to take a minute, and we need to look and talk to them about where they are.

So when you’re building your tribe and you’re trying to find them… I mean there’s billions of people on the planet. You’re trying to figure out where they are. The problem is we can’t reach out and say, “Here’s what I can do for you.” Because even though we can change thousands of lives, and I know what you do is amazing, and you can change everybody’s life, but the big misnomer is that spiritual entrepreneurs say, “Well, I can help everybody. I serve everyone who has this particular problem.”

That is actually the problem because you aren’t being specific enough on who you’re trying to connect with. When you’re too general, people can’t hear you. And I say they can’t “hear” you. What I mean by that is that they’re not hearing what you’re really saying because you’re kind of talking gibberish to them because you’re talking to everybody. And when you’re talking to everybody, there’s no connection.

So when you’re trying to find your tribe and build that tribe, it’s about knowing them intimately. It’s about building that connection at an intimate level so that you know who they are, and they know that you know who they are. When you’re too general in how I can help you… “I can help you live a balanced life. I can help you be happier. I can help you live your purpose.” Those are very general things. I know that, as spiritual coaches, we can help everybody do that, but… Yep, online connection is different, but it’s not. And I’m going to show you guys how and why.

So the connection is a little bit different because if you’re building it online, yes, there’s a little bit of a disconnect. Right? I’m not sitting in front of you guys, but I am on video with you guys, and I know you guys really well. That’s something that I can say is a gift of mine, that I know my clients really well, and I know the problem that I’m solving for you guys.

So going back to when you’re looking at your tribe in general, when you start to say, “I can help everybody,” that’s the problem, and you have to get rid of that mindset. And it feels uncomfortable because we start to think, “Well, there’s all these people I could serve. How do I get there and reach all of them?”

The analogy I like to use is if you look at a pile of leaves, and if you had a magnifying glass and your goal was to light that pile of leaves on fire, you would take the magnifying glass, and you would run it all over the place. The sun is hitting the magnifying glass here and a little there. Nothing is going to happen. Nothing is going to ignite. But when you take that magnifying glass and you hold it steady, and you focus on one leaf, that leaf will start to ignite. And that one leaf ignites; the whole pile will ignite.

I want you to remember that for your business. You have to focus on one specific piece of your tribe that you will help initially. And when you help that tribe initially, the people start to hear about you, and there’s what’s – the “halo effect.” So now you have a halo effect, where more people are hearing about you, and you start to go outside of the perimeter of who that specific focus was.

If you think about it, no matter what we do in life, if we are not laser-beam focused on it, it doesn’t work. Same is true with your business and who your clients are. You have to be laser-beam focused on who they are. So one of the steps you need to do is get really clear on who that tribe is that you’re serving. If it feels too narrow, you’ve nailed it.

It has to be very specific because what happens is they need to hear you. You need to be able to connect with them. Think of yourself at a cocktail party, and there’s all sorts of people talking. There’s all sorts of noise. It’s loud, and someone says either your name, or they’re talking about maybe your alma mater or your spouse, something you hear that you click. It could be across the room, and you’d be like, “Oh, who’s that? Who said my name? I heard something.”

That’s what you want to do with your tribe. That’s how you connect with them. You have to connect with them intimately. It’s not this grand, “I’m going to help you be happy. I’m going to help you find your purpose.” This is really, really, general stuff, and yes, you can help them do that.

But when you’re communicating with them at that high level, they’re not hearing you. It’s like all the noise at that cocktail party. Da da da da da da. So you need to get really specific, and you can only get really specific if you know who that tribe is.

So let’s say you’re – here’s one of the ones. A lot of my clients come to me for the boot camp, right? And I’ll say in my Spiritual Biz Boot Camp we spend – it’s an eight-week boot camp. We spend three weeks getting really, really clear on who your tribe is because if my clients don’t know who their tribe is, I can teach them all sorts of amazing things, and it just, it won’t work. So getting really clear on who this tribe is is so important. So what you want to do is get really super specific.

And so like I was saying, so my clients come to me, and they’re like, “I want to help women find their purpose.” This is a very general thing. I hear this all the time. I mean all the time. “I want to help women get out of where they are and find their purpose.” I’m like, “Great. That’s like half the population on the planet. I need more information. Who are you helping?”

So you have to get really specific. You have to dial in. You have to dial in. Is it women between what age range? And where are they in their life? Are they divorced? Are they going through a divorce? Are they happily married? Are they empty-nesters, where the kids just left and now they’re trying to figure out, “Why am I here?” Are they corporate people who are just miserable and dying to get out? Who is that tribe?

When you can really define who they are, then you can talk to them. You’re going to talk to someone who is happily married but just started with the whole empty-nest syndrome. You’re going to talk to them entirely differently than a woman who just got divorced who is now trying to find her purpose. And so if you’re talking to the empty-nester, you’re going to talk about how much you love your kids and how you’ve dedicated your life to helping your kids, and now it’s time for you.

If someone’s going through an empty-nest syndrome, if you talk to them like that, that loneliness, that empty-nest feeling, that, “What am I going to do now, now that my children have gone on to live their life?” If you speak to them like that, they’re going to go, “Oh, that’s me.” They’re going to connect with you, and they’re going to connect because you know them. You’re showing them that you know them intimately, which means you understand the problem that they’re going through, the pain, the emotional state that they’re in.

So when you are connecting at a really high, general level, you’re missing that emotional connection, and that’s why your tribe isn’t hearing you. You might even be talking to the right people, but they’re not hearing you because you’re too general in what you’re creating. And so you have to be able to dial into who is that tribe, very specifically, so that you know the problem that you’re solving for them.

That is biggest piece of the puzzle that everyone misses. You’re telling them what you can do for them, but you’re not explaining to them what the problem is that you’re solving for them. This is a huge distinction when you’re trying to find your tribe. How are you going to help them with the problem that you are solving?

And when you can get that together, you can start communicating with your tribe. So how do you narrow down the tribe? So if you have clients already, then I would pick your best client, who’s your favorite, best client that has gotten the most amazing results that you love working with. And if you can define who that client is, start to model your tribe after that person. Or start to think about, “Okay, who can I help the best? Who can I serve at the highest level? And where is that person in their life?”

So in my Spiritual Biz Bootcamp, I have like 26 questions that we go through to be able to get really defined. This is like a really major process. So you need to really kind of go through and think about where are they emotionally. Who are they? How can I help them?

And as you create this persona that you know that you can help, that becomes your identifier for your tribe. So now you can look at that individual, and every time you create a program, every time you write a blog post, every time you go out with whatever information to connect with your tribe, you’re looking at this one person that you’ve based your tribe off of. So you need to get really specific and really just think who you serve the best and who you enjoy serving. And who do you enjoy serving that is going to help you create a business out of this?

So here’s another thing spiritual entrepreneurs do all the time: “I want to serve. I want to serve. I want to serve.” That’s what we all say, “I want to serve. I want to get out there and help.” But then, we don’t have a business. We don’t have a vehicle with which to do this, and so we start serving people who we start giving our gift away for free. And we’re not serving when we’re giving our gift away for free because they’re not valuing what you’re doing.

So if you’re going to say, “I’m going to help these people,” you create your avatar. It’s your ideal client. And this person can’t afford your services; you’re not serving them. And you’re not serving yourself because you have to create a business – this is why this group is called Spiritual Biz Success. You need to have a business, which is your vehicle, will get you out there, so that you can change thousands of lives.

It doesn’t help you to create an ideal client and a business around people that cannot afford what you do or don’t value what you do. So being able to value what you do for yourself and showing your clients how they can, or how to value you as well, based off of the problem that you’re solving for them, you want to make sure you’re including that when you’re creating this ideal client. You want to make sure they value what you’re doing, and that you’re really solving a problem for them.

The kicker is when you can solve a problem, people will pay a lot of money to be able to get that problem solved. So you have to think in those terms when you’re creating your ideal client. And you have to have that vehicle with which to go out with that, all of that amazing information, which is your business, so just remember that. I always say build a business that creates the financial abundance that you can use to then give back. And when you are in an amazing place and you’re able to give and serve at your highest level, then give your gift away to the people who truly need it who can’t afford it.

But when you start bartering with people and you start kind of, “Well, I’ll do this for you if you do this for me,” there becomes a lack of value, and it almost doesn’t – it doesn’t work. I don’t think I’ve ever seen it really successfully work. There’s always a problem. So you have to really stand in your own, value what you do, know who you’re serving, and really show them the value that you’re providing. And that value is because you’re solving a problem for them. And being able to solve that problem for them is how you connect with them.

So in all of your marketing material, any kind of communication you have with your tribe, you have to be able to talk to the problem. And when you talk to the problem that you’re solving, they will hear you, and they will connect with you, and that is how you find your tribe.

Knowing who your tribe is specifically for you. Only you know because only you know the very specific problem that you solve for them. But you have to think in terms of the problem that you solve, and who are you helping, very specifically.

Go back to the analogy of the pile of leaves. You aren’t going to get it to work if you’re saying, “I can help everybody.” I always laugh and say, like, you know, “The Bible is the…” What’s the right word? I totally just lost my train of thought, but the Bible is the most popular book on the planet, but not everybody owns the bible, right? So if not everyone’s going to own the Bible, not everyone is going to want what you have. I mean, truly, think about that.

And so you have to really define who wants what you have, so not only what problem can you solve, but who wants that problem solved? And that’s the connection that you need. And then, you have to create the vehicle with which to get out there and serve thousands of people and present that, and that’s your business. That’s where I come in with the whole Spiritual Biz Bootcamp.

When you guys are ready to really get out there and change lives, reach out. Let me know. Private message me and – you’re welcome. That’s what I’m here to do, and my clients in my boot camp are amazing and getting amazing results. They’re building their tribe in a way that they never thought they could. I mean I have clients coming in that already have followers, have thousands of followers, but they’re stuck. They’re stuck on how to make that connection, and this is probably the most important thing we cover, along with mindset in the Spiritual Biz Bootcamp, being able to make that connection with your tribe. You’re welcome, Jenna.

If you aren’t connecting with your tribe, if you’re wondering why your blog posts are falling on deaf ears, it’s because you’re missing the connection with them. You have to know them intimately, and think of that scenario, too, at a party, when someone says your name across the room. There’s a connection, so make that connection. You’re connecting.

Or the problem that you’re solving, think about it. Most people sit around the water cooler at work complaining to each other. Why? Because we bond over the problems that we have.

Any resources to recommend when you’re just starting out? So I will post. I have an article that I’ve written, it’s called “The Seven Steps to Creating a Spiritual Business,” where I talk about this building your tribe, so I will post that in here. Follow that process, and read all of my blog posts.

This is what I talk about all of the time. “How do we find our tribe?” Because you don’t have a business without a tribe. But in creating that business, and knowing that you have that gift to get out there, it’s so important to go through this process and find your tribe. But I will post that link, and if you go through my kind of flow…

There’s like a “Build Your Tribe Starter Kit,” I believe, at the bottom of the blog post that I’ll put the link for. And if you go through that process, you actually have an opportunity to purchase the small little course that has those 24 questions in this one. It’s a little different for the boot camp because we get really deep into it, but I’ll post the link so you guys have that so you can start to take a look and find that tribe and get out there and live your purpose.

So when you guys are ready, though, to step it up in a major way, let me know. Private message me. Always ask questions in the group. That’s what I’m here for. My whole goal is to create 5,000 spiritual entrepreneurs in the next 5 years, and you guys are it. So we need to get out there and really help in this paradigm shift and get people to see clearly, become aware, and find their inner peace because that is why we are here.

So you guys have a beautiful day. I’ll post the link to that blog post in just a second, and I’ll see you later this week in the group. Have a beautiful day. Bye, guys.



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